WHEN MY LIFE CHANGED WITHIN THE SPAN OF 24 HOURS
Philip, my firstborn, has finally arrived and everything is different. As I was walking through the hospital lobby, then also our condominium's, I can see the guards' thoughts, "Si ma'am, mommy na."
Wow, didn’t think parenthood will come to me this fast. I’ve always wanted to be a mom since I was 18, and though I am now 32, if u really think about it, motherhood came to me in just one night. It is all so surreal how I left our place Friday past midnight with a husband on my side, and now going back with a Father and our son cradled in my arms.
My first ever photo with my son, Philip. I will never forget the very first time I laid my eyes on him…and when they were taking him away it felt like I held on to him in an eternal second.
I write now while waiting for him to wake from his nap time so we can feed. Been playing songs that looked like were of great help to put him to sleep. And I type quietly on my iPad instead of laptop so he won’t hear any unpleasant noise while he is in dreamland. See, like I said, everything is different now.
Been wanting to share so much with my family, friends, and readers. I just haven’t had the chance since priorities call me to put Philip first. I’ll get to my stories at a better time, I’m sure, but for now I choose to enjoy my moments with this boy. Because I have a hunch that the way parenthood comes us all- which is more like “in a moment” no matter how slow or gradual time goes by, will perhaps be the way my child will grow and mature in this world.
Many moms say children grow up so fast, so I am taking advantage of these moments when I can hold and stare at him as much as I want. To make the most out of this time when one arm is more than enough to carry the whole of him. To enjoy the privilege of experiencing something so beautiful, something so undeserved.
Seriously, Philip now looks much older than how I first saw him in the hospital. Time is ticking away too fast somebody stop it pleeeeaaassseeee….
This isn’t to take away from motherhood as a challenging (and sometimes even frustrating!) task. We all know raising children is not easy. But at this point I want to focus on the joy, on the privilege, that will too soon slip away if I let my mind and heart set on what isn’t easy than what’s truly rewarding.
Have you ever seen the movie “About Time”? Okay, spoiler alert, but I really think that’s the way life should be lived. To always make the most out of what have now and just let the natural course of things flow, without any regrets, because you’ve fully lived in the here an now the best possible way you can.
Now I know a little bit of why parents cry when their children leave home or marry. Because at that point I think they remember everything is within a moment. A series of things that somehow all happens in a moment.
Alas! what a sentimental fool I’ve been since I’ve had Philip. Really, what a difference a day makes.
Note: Photos courtesy of Jamie Espadilla. Check out her page at adashofjamie.com!