ON MARRYING THE RIGHT MAN
For a time I was stuck with the problem of leaving my son behind as I went to work. Whether he was left at home or brought to my sister’s place, it would always be heartbreaking to part ways with the boy who muffled our goodbyes with hysterical no’s and cries.
Then one day I had to go ahead and my husband was left with the task turning him over to my sister for the day. Meeting them both at the end of my working hours I eagerly asked, “So did he cry?” To my surprise my husband answered, “No.” Wow, how could that be? He said, “I only had to explain to him. I told him exactly what’s going to happen today. That because we are both working today, he will spend the day with his ninang, playing in her house. After which, we will pick him up and Mama and Papa and Philip will all go to bed together.” And just like that the boy agreed to go with my sister and did not cry for the rest of the day.
It was the same thing when I got pregnant with our second child. My husband went through a whole presentation of how the baby inside of me was just like how Philip’s life started on earth. Again, to my surprise, Philip understood that there was life inside my womb. It was marvelous to see him comprehend the complex reality of pregnancy at such a young age, and I was equally awestruck at my husband’s ability to discern that our son would be able to handle it quite well.
I guess what I am trying to say is that when I thought cries are inevitable parts of having a child, my husband thought they were, for some moments, unnecessary. When I thought my child was too young to understand, my husband proved it was only in communication where I was lacking.
THERE IS THIS THING WITH FATHERS WHICH RAISES SONS, WHILE MOTHERS ARE STILL STUCK WITH THE IMAGE OF THEIR BABIES.
I said it before and I will say it once again: in having a choice husband, I consequently have a choice father. My husband proves to me everyday of my life that he is right and perfect not only for me, but also for our son Philip.
Darling, happy father’s day. We are just so blessed to have you.