One Loss, Three Gains


We lost a baby again. For the second time we are going through miscarriage. I will spare you the details because the point of this blog is not to explain what happened, but to share lessons I’ve learned while going through this ordeal.


When I heard there was still a chance to wait for the baby to come around, I learned to ask the Lord not only for myself but also in faith. God does not have a problem about us asking for ourselves and for our desires, but this time I realized that God loves it when we ask in faith. That is, to ask knowing He can and He will if He wills. To ask, without giving up prematurely as though saying I would rather not believe He can do it. Faith is knowing He always can and He is still mighty even if we don’t get what we are asking for.


Yes, we lost, but wow, we still gained. Say that again? Yes, we still gained. In the first place, God opened my womb, there really is the sac and an embryo, and that is still something and not nothing. Instead of focusing on what we cannot have for a long time, I would rather look at how the Lord still gave, even if only for a short time. Only with the Lord is loss still a gain. A gain of life, of memories, of lessons, of an opportunity to go deeper in His Spirit and love.


In heaven, when everything is over, I will be holding and meeting not one, not two, but three children. And if God opens my womb again this year or the next or in the other years to come, then even more! Miscarriage only reminds me eternity is real and sweet and that what we have today, as happy or as sad it may be, is not everything yet. And there, I will see these amazing people I am privileged to carry in the womb and outside, along with the Author of everything, Jesus.

I am so sure you feel sad for me. Of course, I feel sad, too. But you know what? Mourning really becomes dancing with the Lord, and for ashes, He gives beauty. I am healing, I am loved, I am blessed, and while peace and pain can co-exist was the lesson I learned the first time, this second one tells me so can pain and gladness, loss and gain. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. To Him be all the glory and praise.



  • lolim
    April 29, 2017

    thank you ms rica for this post. i am deeply sorry for your loss, but i am also well encouraged by your faith and gratefulness to our dear God. I have suffered miscarriage too last year, my first born supposedly; and it is one of the most difficult deaths to bear with, perhaps because you know that this person is literally yours. i have accepted that the baby is gone and i was never mad at the Lord, but honestly i am still mourning right now. it gave me a lot of fears — will i still be able have children, is there something wrong with my reproductive system or my hormones — and many more. but God is faithful because one time in January, the Lord spoke to me through my devotion; He told me that my baby lived for a short time in my womb but my baby’s life lived as to Christ cause my baby brought me so much closer to God especially at that time that i was fighting for my child’s life. at the same time, now that the Lord took him/her home, it is a gain for both my child and i, knowing that my child is now in a far better place and that is in the arms of our Good Heavenly Father. Thank you and God bless you, Ms Rica.

  • MaryGrace Panliboton
    April 29, 2017

    “still something and not nothing” that’s true :). I had miscarriage on my first baby it is really so sad. But then i keep trusting God that He always give us great blessing that make us honor Him. It may be stubborn to say that miscarriage is a blessing but it is indeed a blessing. A moment of blessing of our God even though it is only a moment the greatness of our revealed. Our God is our Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the end. Our little babies are in heaven now and we will surely meet them. 🙂

  • Normi
    April 29, 2017

    I remembered how King David did the same for his child, laying all night on the ground praying and fasting, but how he responded when his child still died after a week really showed how much he was fully surrendered to the sovereignty of the Lord… “And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped.” Such a simple statement but profound in many ways. You are a strong woman, Carla, because the Lord is with you. I feel your pain but the peace and joy is felt even more. Praying for you and your family and also standing expectantly with you for that marvelous day when we all get to reunite with our love ones in heaven in the presence of the Lord. *tight hug* 🙂

  • Janice Tigley
    April 29, 2017

    Thanks for this Rica. I also too suffered miscarriage last Dec 2015, our first born we waited for almost 7years. I was deeply hurt but I never asked God why. Heaven is so beautiful right now with our angels.I will never lose hope that one day God will blessed us another blessing ❤

  • MARILETH Alandy-dy
    April 29, 2017

    Hi Carla! I’m saddened by the 2nd miscarriage you had but I rejoice in the Lord for the woman of God you become. The grace of God really manifest in you as Paul said in 2Cor.12:9 “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me”. May you continue to see and taste God’s power and goodness in this season of healing. After this, you will be more blessed with your testimony and most especially with God Himself.

  • With a Little Help From My Friends
    April 29, 2017

    […] Carla’s blog […]

  • melfer
    April 29, 2017

    im deeply saddened for you your lost. Hope God will give you the strength you need at this time.I will be praying for you and joe…

  • Abi Ong
    April 29, 2017

    Thank you for being generous with your story, Carla. Im so encouraged with your faith and hope in the Lord despite your pain. We too are praying for a baby and also went through two miscarriages in a row. It is beyond devastating. Thank you for reminding me that Jesus can turn our losses into gains. Praying for you and your family.

  • Maricel Vasilev
    April 30, 2017

    Hi Rica,i really can relate to your situation. I have one son who will turn 3 this July, i thank God always for giving him to us. We prayed for a second child an then it was given but lost it at 7 weeks. I was so saddened because we really wanted to give my son a sibling. We asked the Lord again, and then i was so happy He gave us again the third one. Maybe because of the previous miscarriage, i was so scared everyday even i keep praying for healthy and safe baby. I was so happy when i passed my second trimester and then i saw her in my tummy so alive and healthy. My husband and i were very excited to meet her as well as my son who knew he will be soon be a big brother. Then came the gender ultrasound, just to know that she don’t have a heartbeat anymore. I was so devastated, i cried like a little child, so many questions in my mind. Did i do something wrong? Is it my fault? Why this far? What happen Lord? Yes i lost my baby for the second time at 5 months in my tummy last Feb. Then i realized that it is not about my plans, it is about God’s plan for me. I find comfort knowing i have two angels in heaven with the Lord. Now i am just waiting for whatever our good Lord has for me. I have one son that is so worthy for my love, and i am so blessed already. Thank you for your faithfulness to the Lord.

  • Yasmin
    May 2, 2017

    Very inspiring Carla. Such a beautiful post. Your life is a testimony of God’s grace, strength and love. Praying for you.

  • Peachy
    May 3, 2017

    You are always an inspiration. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us, as well as your learnings. You never fail to open up our eyes and bring us closer to the Lord. I will continue to pray for you and your family, Carla.

  • Divine Gibson
    July 14, 2017

    What an encouragement!i loss a daughter too thru stillborn.actually i bore twins but only Julia survived. I am a pastor’s wife too and during that time it was so hard. There was a transition in our church and then i and my husband had different ways of grieving. God is so merciful. I am able to surpass those moments. Thanks for sharing your life thru this blog. Let us continue to trust God’s heart as we continue to lead others together with our spouses. Blessings.

Leave a Reply

Previous Post
How To Give Christ To A Young Heart
Read More
Next Post
Smart Shelves
Read More